BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS

Today is my 30th birthday and I can truly say I couldn't be happier to be entering this new decade. Maybe it's because many of my friends are older than me. Maybe it's because my parents didn't meet until their 30's. Or maybe it just feels like the beginning. 

My 20's // Honestly, my 20's were difficult. There was lots of heartbreak both personally and  professionally, that I wasn't equipped to deal with. I have also struggled with depression, which added a dark cloud over many of those years. It wasn't until my late 20's that I really got a handle on my sadness, started to gain confidence and figured out what I wanted from life. As soon as I started scaring myself by taking risks and putting myself out there in life and love, wonderful things started to take shape.

Love // James and I started dating when I was 27 and he was 28 and there is no way either one of us would have been ready for each other a year sooner. We both tried to keep our relationship as a friendship for six months before we finally gave in to falling in love. Of course it was the best decision we ever made. I don't think there is anything wrong with finding love young. In fact I am totally jealous of those who just know it's right early on in life and keep growing together instead of apart. That just wasn't in the stars for me, and I wouldn't change it.

Career // This is the one place I am very judgmental of myself. I was one of those strange kids who knew exactly what they wanted to do with their life since they were 6 years old. And guess what, photography was not it. After many years of unhappiness, at age 24 I decided I no longer wanted to do "that thing" {sorry I'm being cryptic}, took a leap of faith and started my own photography business.  It's funny looking back on, because now I can't imagine doing anything else. For years I took headshots for actors just to pay the bills, but wasn't being creative or feeling inspired. Starting this blog really gave me the confidence to stop taking headshots and start taking the kind of photographs I always wanted to. Now I literally dream about photography and feel happiest when I have a camera in my hand. Sometimes it's hard for me to accept that I didn't find my true passion until my mid twenties. I feel like if I knew sooner, I would be further along in my career, whatever that means.

Blogging // Starting a blog has been one of the best adventures of my life. It has inspired me to be a better photographer and allowed me to connect with kindred spirits. I love being part of such a creative community of people, it's what I've always dreamed of. On the other hand, the blogging world has a very false side that can make you feel jealous or less than. I sometimes compare myself, my work and my relationship to others which I know is very dangerous. I do my very best to keep that in check by reminding myself that from the outside even my life might look too good to be true. 
I want you to know that I feel really blessed to have so many wonderful readers. I have had negative comments from time to time and even a twitter hater/stalker. Yes it's true. But mostly you are all so supportive and make all of this worth it. 

Turning 30 // Maybe it's different in other parts of America, but in Los Angeles 30 is young. It sounds strange since we are a celebrity/youth driven culture and LA is one of the hubs, but it is. Most of my LA friends didn't start getting married or having kids until their 30's, so I never felt that pressure that so many feel. The only time I start to question my age is when I see other bloggers saying how "old" 25 is. That's when I have a Carrie Bradshaw moment {remember the episode where no one shows up to her 35th birthday and the girl at the next table is turning 25?}. Yeah, I have to laugh at myself. If the last decade has taught me anything at all, it's that life just keeps getting better and better. Thank you all for being part of it.