17 November 2012

AHA SHAKE HEARTBREAK


This is very difficult for me to write, but James and I broke up. There was never a day that passed that I didn't think we would be together forever, so as you can imagine this is quite painful and shocking for me. Even though we've been together for three years we've known each other since we were seventeen, so It feels like a death in some ways and I am going to need to mourn this loss. I wanted to share this with you for a few reasons. I started this blog after we had been dating four months so Sweet Thing has never known a life without James. Our adventures and travels have often been documented here and he also contributed mixes regularly. Another reason I wanted to share this is because it's real life. It's easy to imagine how amazing other people's lives are while looking through the rose colored glasses of a blog. Blogs are positive, happy places and Sweet Thing has certainly been that for me. I have no intention of making this blog into a big sob-fest, but I think it's important to let you know that my life is not perfect. Nor is anyone else's for that matter. I will get through this, but it will take time. Sadly time is the only thing that heals. I am feeling scared for the changes about to take place. I will be moving out of the house I've lived in for seven years, so that alone is overwhelming. I am also feeling excited about what the future holds. I have to believe that something good will come of this. 

30 comments:

  1. Hey, I haven't commented before but I just wanted to say that you've worded everything beautifully and thank you for being so honest. Breakups are definitely difficult, especially as we get older. But you seem very mature and are self-aware enough to know the world's not going to end and that things will just take time to heal. Changes are scary indeed but could lead to amazing things that you haven't - or maybe have but have been procrastinating on - thought possible before. Best of luck to you and I look forward to seeing the good things I'm confident will come.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hugs, girlfriend. Something good will indeed come of this. <3

    http://theoccasionalindulgence.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh honey! Powerful post! None of us are perfect and nothing in life stays the same for very long. I welcome change though it does in fact frighten me. Not so much in things but in people coming in and out of my life. I don't open up to other easily so when I do I expect loyalty, honesty and trust. Those are sometimes are qualities for other to adapt to for long. One of my favorite quotes: "Change before you have to." by Jack Welch. It reminds me to evolve and that things never stay the same for long. Time doesn't always heal but it does make things easier.

    Chao
    Poppie
    http://thepoppie.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey-
    I haven't commented before but felt like now would be a good time. I went through a really awful breakup years ago from a guy I was with for 7 years. It was heart breaking but, 3 years later and days away from marrying another man, i can say honestly that it was the best thing that ever happened to me and it forced me to make a lot of changes I didn't want to. It is so hard in the moment and my thoughts totally go out to you. Best of luck to you moving forward. You are so talented and will have no problem carving out a new path for yourself.
    Heidi
    www.therusticmodernist.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. I just wanted to thank you so much for posting this. I'm a week into my own break-up and I find that it's very difficult to keep reading my favourite blogs, as posts about happy lives and husbands and babies are relentlessly bumming me out. So by share like this, you've made a huge difference. I can't give any positive advice, but just know you're not alone. And thank you again.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The very best for everything ahead...I hope you manage all the changes and stay strong and positive. xxx Debra ps the quote is so touching

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think it takes a lot of courage to expose someone's feelings out in the open. You're are not living your emotions by yourself anymore, you're sharing them with the world and it gives a different prospective to what happened. I understand how it feels like and as you said time is the only cure. Breaking up it's not just loosing your partner, it's also loosing your best friend, home, plans you already made but it's also a new beginning. Take your time to recover, especially because you'll have to re discover yourself again. I am sure the future will be brighter but for now hang tight! And I know that in this kind of circumstance everything sounds like a cliché but sometimes all the changes happen for a purpose.
    I'm sending you hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are not alone. I had a similar thing happen at the beginning of this year, and I remember thinking, "how can it ever get better?" but I promise you, it's does. I still have sad days, it just takes time. Healing is a slow progress, but you'll get there. Just remember that it's okay to mourn and cry and grieve... it's okay.

    Sending you positive thoughts that you find moments of peace and comfort, and even joy, during this time. xo.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm so sorry for you and hope you're feeling better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Like other's I've never commented here before, but I could totally relate to your post. I'm so sorry this happened to you as well. It's such a hard thing to go through and it's ok to feel overwhelmed about the changes that are about to come. Mourn the loss as long as you have to, and surround yourself with people who love you. You've probably heard it many times, but life is wise and it teaches us the things we have to learn to become the person we are meant to be. It's never easy, but like Douglas Adams said: "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." and once time has passed and you look back, you'll notice that to be true.

    Big hug,
    Rachel.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I just happened to stumble across this blog and wow, I'm sorry. That quote is powerful and though I am not in the same situation as you, it definitely speaks to some things in my life right now. You are very brave for putting yourself out there, being authentic and true, and I wish you the best in your journey forward. Life gets very scary when it becomes so uncertain and the things you thought would always be vanish. But you'll be better for it... that's what growth is all about.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I just came across your blog and this was the first post I saw so I have to say, I am so sorry to hear. I know how hard it is to come out of long relationships, so don't worry, it will get better, it just takes time.
    As for the rest of your blog, I absolutely love it. I am glad I stumbled upon it, especially to give you a blog hug from one blogger to another.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks for sharing this. It makes me want to come back because I know there is a real person behind this monitor. The person, that I want to talk to, give a hug, and hey, even sob: nothing's wrong with that. Healing does take time, I know that from my very personal experience. Some years back, when I was going through a painful brake up, one person told me this: "remember this day. One year from today you'll be laughing when talking about it". That moment I looked at her through my tears like she was crazy. Guess what? A year later I did talk to someone about my brake up and I was laughing indeed! I called that person and thanked her...
    I know no words can ease your pain right now. I just want to tell this: you are beautiful and smart person, and there will be many open doors, just don't keep this one open for too long...

    ReplyDelete
  14. ahh, i love that quote. such a hard one to really heed, but such a good one. i'd love to share this blog post with you, one i wrote a year after a very difficult day in my life that too was an ending to an era: http://jessohbee.blogspot.com/2011/03/bullying-form-of-reality.html continued wishes for love and peace. xo

    ReplyDelete
  15. I wholeheartedly believe that each and every thing happens for a reason. I am so sorry that you have to feel any sort of pain at all, but I'm confident that you will come out bigger and stronger at the end of it all. You'll be just fine, I know it!
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thinking of you always Jess. You're the best sister a girl could ask for!

    ReplyDelete
  17. So sorry to hear this! Best wishes for whatever comes next for you!

    ReplyDelete
  18. My heart goes out to you - this is not an easy thing you are embarking on. But the best of luck. I think the quote you chose is perfect. You may find of piece of yourself you didn't know was there.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I've endured this kind of heartbreak. Keep positive and let it heal. That quote was one of my favorites during my healing process, plus this one from Marilyn Monroe, "A girl doesn't need anyone that doesn't need her."

    ReplyDelete
  20. I LOVE YOU JJW!!!

    you will get through this! i know you know that

    be grateful for the many blessings on there way to you!
    there is magic ahead


    can't wait to see you very soon!
    (i'm right there with you, some super sad letting go is happening for me, let's hug and cry it out together on thursday)
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  21. So sorry to hear, sweetie. I've gone through this as well. It's so hard. You'll be stronger because of it and please know that you were meant to be in each others' lives for a reason. To learn and grow emotionally. Hugs! xo

    ReplyDelete
  22. it happens to the best of us. for me, a year or so ago. but sometimes things just naturally end, there's such a bright future out there for you, & the unknown can be super exciting :)

    Katie x

    ReplyDelete
  23. As one door closes, another one opens. Sending you love and hugs x

    ReplyDelete
  24. Just want to say that this post has resonated with me many times since I first saw it.
    Had my heartbroken this year, and I know how it hurts, and how shocking it can be.
    Thanks for writing this, it helps to know that there are others out there feeling rough this winter!
    xs

    ReplyDelete
  25. I normally read your blog daily but I got so busy that I am only now catching up and reading this. Just want you to know that you have an amazing blogosphere support system and I can only imagine how tough it can be... But there's always tomorrow and the day after and the day after that and you slowly start to feel better... You're a amazing young woman and thanks for sharing this with us. Stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I'm sorry for what you're going through and I think you are doing something good and brave by writing about it.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I read this when you posted it in Nov. and felt a twinge of fear- throughout my recent relationship I have avoided reading about break ups because I dreaded the possibility. And as I was sinking into feeling safe, after a year and a half and moving in together three months ago, my break up came yesterday. I'm still reeling. Trying to be positive and sending you positive thoughts too...

    ReplyDelete

ShareThis